Hope.

So, I kinda feel like a disclaimer is needed before I write anything, because the subject I am about to write on is one that I am young in. I have not had much experience in this, and a lot of these thoughts are new and maybe not fully developed. Though I've asked God for wisdom, still I am an interpretating human. You guys get the picture :)

I think I am coming to realize that our hope in anything but God is harmful. That sounds harsh to me too, and I even hate the word harsh, but this idea is coming out of a huge battle of pride in myself. I was asking God this morning why following Him felt like I burden to me sometimes - why did I feel like I couldn't do enough and was hanging on by a thread, HOPE-ing to keep on the path of His perfect will and to not mess up. This perspective brought upon much anxiety, too, because I know that I am incapable. God showed me awhile ago that I had not fully grasped the concept of His Grace, and He showed me this morning that I was putting my eggs of hope in the wrong basket - MY basket - and thinking that this was a good, honorable thing. I prided myself in being able to follow God. Sounds like the Pharisees. Ugh.

Amidst this struggle of pride - feeling as though I should not need grace - and disillusionment - thinking that I was more righteous if I was able to follow God without Him each second - and anxiety - getting scared that I wasn't able to do this and that I would mess up - God shined through. My hope has been in myself. My ability and my understanding and my discipline. I think that God's yoke is lighter than that, though.

"I never leave your side, and I never let go of your hand."
"Hope [in Me] lifts your perspective..."
"You are reminded that the road we're traveling together is ultimately a highway to heaven."
"God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:18-19

This verse is so beautiful!!! 'Greatly encouraged' sounds like a much lighter yoke to me. 'Firm anchor..firm and secure' seems nothing like anxiety or the type of hope that I in my humanness can sustain. What a perfectly opposite picture than what I first described as how I was feeling. Instead of feeling like I was underneath the anchor, doing my best to uphold hope in myself, our hope in God and His promises of what is to come gives us stability in our souls.

"When you consider this radiant destination, the roughness or smoothness of the road ahead becomes much less significant." Time to trust in the hope that only our ONE AND ONLY GOD offers us unchanging, forever and ever. It will be enough! He promises.


Love you all!